Disadvantages of Homeschooling
Social Problems

by awesomeMcgee

I know many adults who homeschool and students. One of the problems that continue to occur is... social problems. The kid/student always acts weird in crowds and can't seem to make friends easily, and the problem continues when they get a job, or go to College. So maybe you don't have to deal with public school, but depriving you are depriving your kids of social skills which will help them in life.

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Social Problems

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Feb 09, 2017
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Homeschooling and Social Problems
by: Anonymous

I was home schooled all of my life, and I can honestly say I do have issues socializing and making friends. I've been in college for 2 years and have hopes of transferring to a university soon, but the challenges I face makes it seem like that won't be possible. I also have 2 younger siblings who are home schooled and they seem to have the same issues too. Somehow, I want to be able to prevent them from going through the same struggles in the real world as I do.

Jan 17, 2017
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Harry is not entirely correct in his assessment
by: Cidalia

It's a bit difficult to take a comment from Harry seriously, when he repeatedly used the word "there" when the spelling "their" was called for.

I can't speak for homeschooled kids being more or less social. I think it depends on the child and the environment.

In my case, I'm now homeschooling my daughter, who suffers from severe anxiety, and she is naturally afraid to speak in front of people, has trouble making friends, etc. Eight years of public school education did nothing to fix that and, in her case, made it worse.

Alternately, I've met very outgoing homeschooled children, probably because they were naturally born that way, while my daughter is naturally anxious and shy.

Apr 07, 2016
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Ask a Teacher
by: Anonymous

Ask any teacher who has had homeschooled kids in their classes, and they will tell you there is a difference in how they socialize and act in class. Many teachers that have taught for years, can see the differences, easily with homeschool kids vs. the kids that have always been in school.

Aug 12, 2015
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Issues with social skills
by: Anonymous

I have hired a couple of people who were homeschooled. They did have some social issues. One did not know how to give people personal space--he had grown up with a large family and apparently they always stood too close to each other. The other employee seemed to not know when a comment was inappropriate--he was too familiar with fellow employees--sometimes saying hurtful things. I do feel that peer correction is important. If all you do is live with parents who never tell you to stop a behavior or make you feel like you can be the president of the company when you have no upper level education--because you are special in the world with little or no competition with others--then you will struggle to figure it out as an adult. It is being raised in an unrealistic world-then you are thrust into the real world unprepared.

Jan 15, 2015
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The down side(s) of home schooling
by: Harry

Where I see the most problems with homeschooling is in single parent homes, low income situations and lazy parents. Homeschooling is a full time job for one person. Most single parents have to work to survive. That leaves much less time available for "teaching". A tired parent is not a ideal candidate to teach children. If either single parent or low income you may have less time and money to spend on field trips and other organized home school functions. Then if the parent or parents are just lazy and had rather sleep in than drive there kids to school, then that is a whole different problem. Children develop there social skills as they go through early life and usually by the time they are out of school there social aptitude is pretty much in place. Deprived of exposure to other children there age and different social situations leaves a child un-prepared for life beyond parents and cousins. Education should not be boring.

I went to public school from 1st thru 12th. I enjoyed making different friends, being in school clubs, playing sports or all the fun it was to go to your school's football or basketball games. I cannot imagine going thru 12 years of school and never experiencing May Day, or dressing up for Halloween and going to school,or studying with friends and cramming for a test. I sincerely believe that many home schoolers are socially deprived.

My wife teaches at a middle school. Kids transfer in or homeschooling ends and the kids wind up in 6th or 7th grade without a clue. She says that they have trouble making friends, speaking in front of the class, sharing, and tend to keep to themselves. Now this is not my opinion but my wife's real life experience with home schooled kids vs public school ones. I know personally of a situation where two boys are home schooled. They are in the house all day every day and basically "read" there education.The mom does not have much education herself so it is hard for her to teach chemistry or algebra when she doesn't understand it herself. The boys father is gone and they have very little male interaction. At eleven and thirteen they have no friends outside of family and have never "spent the night" with a buddy. Public school for these guys would at least offer some male influence from male teachers and staff. Give them time away from their mother and family. One of my best "teachers" was the janitor at one of my schools. Seems he knew more about lots of things than the teachers and would take the time to talk and share. My coaches and boys advisors were also a great source of male influence. I am sure that there are lots of dedicated parents out there that do an outstanding job of educating there children and my hat is off to you. But realize that there is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. If children are too sheltered then it is hard to have the life experiences that give you the wisdom to know how to apply all that knowledge you have gained. I am not a very smart man, but through my parents and siblings, my teachers and school mates, neighborhood friends and there dads, I feel that I have been blessed with the wisdom to use what knowledge I do have to maximize my potential and my contribution to my employer, my family, my church and to the world. I understand that many families home school in large cities where there is so much danger and drugs in public schools. But at what point do you unleash them into the same neighborhoods being up-prepared to deal with the "street".

My wife and I raised two children and both went to public schools in a rural area. Both turned out just fine and have good lives. What we did was to raise them in a spiritual environment, continue there education at home thru homework and exposing them to as many different things as possible including museums, art, theater, reading, sports and church. If I had it to do over, I would do it the same.

When I interview potential employees I always ask about there education. If home schooled I will always call them back for extra interview sessions with other employees to see if they can communicate well with other employees and how they will work out in a team environment.I don't discriminate, I just like to test there social skills because in my business it is all about communication, working together and developing working relationships with fellow employees.

Aug 10, 2014
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Children are learning
by: Melanie

Whether public, private or home schooled, children at various ages keep parents humble in their 'social' conduct. Generally all kids tend to be akward in one way or another. They all are at different stages and phases of learning. And social skills very much tend to be caught rather than taught. Homeschoolers in our area have to work harder at creating opportunities to expose their kids to social events seeing as being in a large city away from extended family support does create an island syndrome where you have to actively seek a support and social structure with the added benefit of choosing who forms part of that structure. Should my extended family have been closer I would still exclude many from that structure due to various socially unacceptable habits such as drug abuse. Public schooling does not afford the luxury of choosing who sits next to your child showing off the latest porn on his new slimphone. But public schooling does create wonderful opportunities to learn to have to deal with and cooperate with people you would normally not be exposed to or would naturally not enjoy working with. Siblings tend to regularly form part of these type of working groups where there seem to be no end to the disagreements. My kids at public school have made great friends with kids that would normally not fall into our economic status both richer and poorer. Adults mentoring kids on good social conduct are diamonds and whether homeschooling or public schooling....my hope is that you see that awkard kid in front of you with love and a need to guide them in that situation with patience and a spirit of no condemnation.

Nov 14, 2013
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From my Experience
by: Anonymous

I myself was homeschooled from 4th grade all the way through high school. Now that I am in college; I have found it very easy to make new friends and talk to different people. I do not think that just because children are homeschooled it gives them bad social skills. Yes, I have met some awkward homeschooled kids, but I have also met some awkward public schooled kids as well. I think that social awkwardness is a choice, not based on the child's schooling. Every child has a choice as to whether they are going to be comfortable around others or not. We as individuals can choose every day, how we act and what we want to portray.

Aug 19, 2013
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Social skills for homeschooled
by: Anonymous

I employ many people, and every homeschooled person I have hired learn quickly, and do a great job. On the downside
every homeschooled person I have hired appear to not have learned to play nicely in the sandbox, self centered social skills.Hopefully this is not everyplace, but this has been my experience in hiring staff for 35 yrs. I see the problem that they have been trained without the large groups, and this is what you have in a work and office environment. Basically the Peking order, which unfortunately does exist.

Jun 24, 2013
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Disadvantaged? Really?
by: Social Homeschooler

I was public schooled through sixth grade, then homeschooled for the next five years. If anything, I became more outgoing and social. I learned how to relate to those outside my age group, and to answer questions from interested strangers about what it's like to homeschool.

My homeschooled friends and siblings have blossomed likewise, and are some of the most well-adjusted people I know. There have been studies that show homeschoolers to be better socially adjusted and more mature than their public-schooled peers.

The image of a homeschooling family as a group of introverts who stay at home all day with the door locked is extremely inaccurate. The homeschoolers I know are very active in groups outside their family: church, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, dance, sports, you name it!

Feb 17, 2013
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Socialization problems are a reality
by: Anonymous

My children were not home schooled however I have nieces and nephews schooled both ways. I have noticed much better social skills, and confidence and self esteem in the ones that are in school vs my home schooled nieces and nephews in all cases. It is my opinion that IF you choose to home school give your home schoolers MANY, MANY opportunities to be AWAY from you as a parent. Totally away, and i dont mean just an hour or two here and there during a structured activity. These kids need to learn coping skills, be able to make mistakes and rectify mistakes, handle problems by themselves, schedule and keep up with their own activities....in other words home school parents have work even harder to let their child develop his or her own independence.

Aug 13, 2012
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WHAT IS SOCIALIZATION
by: Anonymous

Who ever decided that the best way to socialize children is to gather them in large groups of approximately the same age? How does hanging out with your teenage friends prepare you for a job interview or the interaction of the workplace?

Until researching how to home school my grandsons, who among other things were getting in trouble for ridiculous reasons at their public elementary school, I as a public school parent just accepted the "fact" that grouping kids by age was the good and only option.

After reading a number of statements made by experienced homeschoolers to the effect that true socialization occurs when kids are constantly exposed to people of various ages, I realized how true this concept is. Look at the dysfunctional kind of socialization that is occurring in our public schools today - they are largely a mess and this is a major reason why parents begin homeschooling in the first place.

So I'll gladly take the kind of socialization that occurs at church, multifamily get-togethers, trips to the grocery store, sporting events, and volunteering over the school kind hands down.

Apr 24, 2012
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SO TIRED OF THE SOCIALIZATION MYTH
by: Anonymous

If your homeschooled child has problems socializing, I believe it is the parents fault. Our 3 teens have been home educated since the start. They have always been involved in sports and other activities. While they have never been involved in any home school groups, they have been very involved in “secular” sports teams. We have always made a point Not to put our kids in a box with other homeschooled kids. We are raising them in a Christian home, but they are very well associated with the real world. People always want to share their ridiculous views of the homeschooled child, to make themselves feel less guilty about not taking the responsibility on themselves.

Apr 21, 2012
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Every one's experience is different
by: former homeschooler

I'm sorry that your experience with homeschoolers has been so negative. I myself was homeschooled my whole life and know that I am socially adept. I am now homeschooling my 1st grade daughter who is learning very well how to interact well in all situations.

That being said, I myself HAVE known those socially awkward homeschooled kids. They are shy, backward, awkward, etc, etc, etc. It is sad to see these kids who do not know how to interact with anyone other than their closest family and peers. I want to go to their parents and tell them that they should be doing a better job teaching their children how to live in the real world.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I have known public schooled kids who who were shy, backward, awkward, etc, etc, etc. It is sad to see these kids who do not know how to interact with anyone other than their closest peers. I want to go to their parents and tell them that they should be doing a better job teaching their children how to live in the real world. Because, after all, that is the parents' job, not the public school system!

When it comes to all of the negative behavioral lessons that would be foisted on my child in public school (ie popularity, self-centeredness, sex, drugs, alcohol, cheating, lying, etc, etc, etc), I think the idea that my child MIGHT be a bit backward is not such a bad thing. After all, is being able to talk to other people more important than being a good person?

Aug 11, 2011
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Disadvantages of homeschooling...Do not agree :)
by: Anonymous

I have homeschooled my children for 3 years now and we have not had any trouble with socialy. My kids feel very comfortable talking to kids their own age as well as grown-ups. they are able to add to a conversation and to get crazy silly with it as well. We have had a wonderful result through homeschooling our children. Thanks to God for our provision in this area.

Aug 07, 2011
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Disadvantage of Homeschooling?
by: Anonymous

I disagree!! Most homeschoolers have very socialized children!! In fact, homeschooled children are more likely to interact with adults and other children better because homeschoolers are not with just their own age group all day.

Jul 19, 2011
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Disadvatages of Homeschooling...No evidence
by: Anonymous

This is a completely unsupported statement. There is NOT A SINGLE STUDY showing that this is true. Home-schooled children do better socially both while they are children, and when they grow up.

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